Chapter Seven – Mark My Words

To my astonishment, the entire Fetiche saga did not even come close to earning me the early retirement I dreamt of, however, I did learn a lot about the beauty and fragrance business. That turned out to be enough to enable me to leave my secure job as a promotional copywriter at Sports Illustrated (card long lost and decomposed by now), to enter the beauty industry through an opening in the Charles of the Ritz/Yves St. Laurent public relations department. Leaving the world of sports, to join the world of beauty, was akin to falling asleep in the men’s locker room and waking up the lady’s lounge!
It all began with an interview with a young, ambitious and pretty Director of Public Relations, 10 years my junior. She asked all applicants to submit a promotional idea for the launch of Paris Perfume at Saks Fifth Avenue. My submission was to construct a replica of the Eiffel Tower on the roof of the store. It must’ve been the most audacious submission because I ended up getting the job! I loved writing press releases, taking editors to lunch, organizing elaborate launch events for such iconic perfumes as Opium, Paris, and Kouros. After 2 years, a new opportunity arose, and another business card to be printed.
This card, now also decomposing in my personal Smithsonian of business cards, was as Director, Public Relations at Del Labs (now owned by Coty) best known for the Sally Hansen brand, Hard as Nails. That brand name proved to be the perfect moniker for the then CEO, who was widely recognized in the industry, as a self-admitted “equal opportunity harasser”.
It was around this time that it dawned on me that I might have some sort of instinct for devising innovative product ideas and brand names. So, upon being handed the on-boarding package from the HR manager, I decided to carefully digest the documents, declarations, terms and restrictions about to be imposed on me as quid pro quo for accepting this position.
In said folder, I came across a document, which laid out what I considered an unfair condition of my employment. Upon a close reading, I took it to mean that any product ideas, brand concepts, brand names, research, thoughts, lunch choices – seemingly everything but the birthmark on my thigh, “heretofore and forthwith, shall” be the exclusive rights of the company. As you can imagine, that did not sit well with me.
Being asked to sign away the rights to my own brainstorms from which the company could very well profit and with no additional compensation? Hell no! Soooo, after a restless night of racing thoughts, I decided, albeit a risky one. I would hand back the folder, with all the signed documents…except one. Fortunately, and as I hoped and suspected, the HR manager never noticed the absent document and approved my hire. Now I was both gainfully employed and free to use my imagination “at will”.

Ironically, I did in fact, dream up the brand name Healing Beauty, applied for, and granted, the trademark registration. Ultimately, the company’s legal team uncovered my application and accused me of usurping one of their ideas. With no proof, and my newly acquired understanding of trademark law, I was confident that I could stick to my guns without fear of being hauled off to Rikers.

To the company’s extreme consternation, they were advised by their lawyers that I did, indeed, hold the rights and were, heretofore and forthwith, forced to hand over a considerable stack of Cleveland’s to obtain the commercial rights.

Of course, outsmarting the CEO is not necessarily the best strategy for career advancement and soon I was relieved of my duties. Anyway, I ended up with enough big ones to start yet… another company!